I've been bad about posting in this blog lately -- even worse than normal. I've been so busy working and trying to pretend to myself that this day wouldn't come, but here it is: my last day. Today, I put on that costume for the last time and worked my final shift at the Pizza Port. I turned in my costume and my Cast I.D. and left backstage.
As I was saying goodbye to the friends I've made, I was trying to keep it together, and doing fairly well. But as one of the managers, Luis, walked me to Harbor Point and took my I.D., he told me that I'd been a great Cast Member and that I always have a place with them and he shook my hand and sent me on my way. I felt like crying right then and there.
I can't believe how much I feel like I've changed over the past few months. I came here so scared and unsure if I really wanted to be here, and now I'm scared to leave. I've made friends and fallen in love here. I've gained some independence from being outside a parental figure's house and gained new perspective of the world.
I never would have thought that I'd get my first boyfriend while I was here, let alone that I'd be mentally preparing myself for a long-distance relationship at the end of this program. I never thought I'd do a long-distance relationship, period, but things look different when you fall for someone.
It's kind of hilarious: pretty much everyone at Pizza Port knows that Josh and I are together, whether we know these people or not. And they keep asking us what we'll be doing once I go back. Even the managers. And it makes our pretending this day isn't going to come so much harder. At least he's taking me home to meet my folks, so we have a little bit more time to pretend we aren't parting.
Honestly, this program itself wasn't very beneficial from what I can see. It was the break from school I needed while still being in school. It allowed me to regain some independence while not forcing me out into the world before I'm ready. This program is what you make of it, and I didn't participate too much in the actual program. There are some things I wish I'd had the opportunity to be more involved in, like trips and activities. The things that really affected me, though, were the people that I met who weren't even necessarily part of the program. This program was a stepping stone for me to experience other things, and for that, I will always be grateful.
